


The Weakness In Me

by snowisfalling



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Songfic, The Weakness In Me- Joan Armatrading, post—hogwarts, unfaithful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 04:36:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowisfalling/pseuds/snowisfalling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione was coping. She was happy, right? Until he walked into her life and managed to turn everything upside down. Draco Malfoy. A few short months and some forbidden feelings can change everything. Songfic: Joan Armatrading- The Weakness in Me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weakness In Me

_I'm not the sort of person who falls_

_In and quickly out of love_

_But to you I gave my affection_

_Right from the start_

**February**

It had been two weeks since Malfoy had bought the publishing company that she worked for. That's all it had taken, a measly 14 days for him to get well and truly under her skin. Sighing she tucked her hair behind her ears and tried to concentrate on the manuscript she was scanning. She'd been more than a little bit dubious to hear he was adding their small business to his multimillion empire, Parchment House was effectively Hermione's baby. With a workforce of only 10 it was considerably smaller than any other investment of Malfoy's. As founder and director it was her choice to allow Malfoy on board, one that gave her many sleepless nights. The sad fact remained that the economy wasn't great at the moment and if she wanted to carry on with the business they needed the extra money. Reading had always been Hermione's passion and after years of running around fighting she wanted nothing more than to curl up and pursue the best-sellers of tomorrow, something that Harry and Ron didn't quite grasp. It had taken many months to convince them that she did not want them to have a word with their superiors at the auror's office. Parchment House specialised in new, upcoming writers; with everything from budding explorers to steamy romantics Hermione had read them all. Recently however, she had been finding it somewhat difficult to concentrate in the office. All down to him. It had started two weeks ago...

Pacing her office she smoothed down her blouse and tugged the creases out of her pencil skirt. Hermione hated dressing like this and the sooner she could get her feet out of her heels the better but first impressions counted in her opinion. If she wanted to go into business with Malfoy she had to look the part. A knock on the door interrupted her inner monologue and her colleague Hannah stuck her head around the door.

'Mr Malfoy is here to see you Mione' smiling, she gave Hermione a quick wink of encouragement then fully opened the door to let him in.

There had been many stories on Malfoy in the tabloids, at first they portrayed negative messages that questioned whether a death eater protegee should really be allowed to walk free in society. Hermione had always vehemently disagreed with this view. Malfoy was a boy who was manipulated by his own family, sure he was a dick but in her view he deserved a bit of slack. Slowly however the media changed their minds, his business empire grew, he spoke out against the Pureblood community for Muggle-born rights and soon he was in high demand; every witch wanted him and every wizard secretly wanted to be him. It certainly wasn't hard to see why, the years had certainly been kind to him. Dressed in a well fitted suit he strolled into her office and slowly took in his surroundings, a black wool coat was tucked over his arm and his trademark blonde hair was swept over to one side (thankfully with a good deal less gel than in his youth.) She felt his eyes rest on her face and watched as he leisurely surveyed the length of her body.

'Are you quite finished?' she snapped, beginning to blush.

He smirked. 'Just returning the favour.'

Jesus she didn't realise she was being that obvious. Swallowing she began the speech she'd carefully prepared.

'After careful consideration Malfoy and taking into account the current economic climate I have decided it is in the best interests of the company to accept-'

'Great.' He interrupted. 'See you Monday.' Malfoy turned around as if to leave.

'B-b-but, I didn't even finish!' she cried indignantly. How dare he cut her off mid-sentence, it had taken her forever to find the right way to say this.

'You accepted Granger, would you like me to shake your hand? Would that satisfy your need for formalities?' He had began to chuckle now at her obvious distress. He strolled towards her, then shifting his coat to his other arm held out his hand.

She returned the gesture and he lightly took her hand into his. His hand was warm and soft, nothing like the clammy hands of- wait. She shouldn't be thinking that. Blinking away those traitorous thoughts she realised that Malfoy still had hold of her hand and was watching her intently.

'Well, er, it's a pleasure to be doing business with you Malfoy.' she had to clear her throat, her close proximity to the Slytherin sex god- wait a minute. Sex god? Jesus her thoughts were definitely trying to land her in it today, of course he was a bit of a legend around Hogwarts. She'd been secretly listening from her bed, her face hidden behind a book when Lavender had told the dorm about her- personal experience. A small cough alerted her to Malfoy's smirking face. Without breaking eye contact he turned her palm down and lowered him head to brush his lips against the back of her hand. Releasing her he swiftly turned and strode towards the door, he paused with one hand on the door handle, his back still to her.

'I'll see you Monday, oh and Granger? The rumours were all true.'

With a horrified squeak she watched as he left pulling the door to behind him. She resumed her earlier frantic pacing, the smarmy bastard had used legilimens on her! Oh god, that meant he'd heard all of her stupid inner monologue and wait a second- she paused her freak out, why would she see him Monday?

That had been the beginning. Turns out Malfoy, perfectionist that he was devoted two weeks to each new business he signed. That meant Hermione had spent two weeks in close proximity to Malfoy, going over the accounts, showing him various manuscripts they were in the process of editing and introducing him to her close knit team of staff. That meant two whole weeks of working late, with only Malfoy for company. She couldn't deny being attracted to him. He was gorgeous and his constant banter and witty replies only heightened her feelings for him. But there was just one tiny thing preventing her from acting on those feelings.

A fiancee. Ron.

_I have a lover_

_Who loves me_

_How could I break such a heart_

_Yet still you get my attention_

 

She had gotten together with Ron half way through the final battle and things had kind've progressed from there. Ron was safe. He was a huge part of her past and surely that meant he should be an equally huge part of her future? Ron loved her. Moving in with him had been inevitable and when one lazy Sunday morning they had lay together in bed and Ron had lovingly traced patterns on her skin and proclaimed his undying love for her it had seemed like she had no choice but to say yes. Who could say no to a proposal like that? Slowly Hermione was beginning to wonder if safe was all she wanted. Familiar Ron with his easy smiles and soft touches or Draco. He'd insisted on first name terms within the first ten minutes of Monday morning. It had been that last Friday, working late yet again. Ally and Hannah had popped their heads round the door to let her know they were heading home. She hadn't realised how quick time had gone, excusing herself she nipped to the small room they housed the company owls in and sent a quick note to Ron.

**'Stuck at the office again. Don't wait to eat. Mione x'**

She sagged in the armchair in the corner under the pretence of waiting for a reply. She didn't know how much longer she could spend in such close proximity to Draco. The air had been getting thicker and thicker with tension and Hermione was finding it harder and harder to find reasons why she should ignore Draco's advances. The banter had been playful at first, the remnants of their school rivalry but it had quickly morphed into something entirely different. He had begun to touch her, just small touches every now and then. A hand on the small of her back to lead her through a doorway, a hand on her knee sat at the desk, a breath on her neck as he leant across her to look at some papers. Always with that smirk on his face and that glint in his eye. The flutter of wings and a tap on the window distracted her from her inner monologue. A reply from Ron, sighing she fed the owl a treat and grabbed the note.

**'Told you this morning, going out with the lads from work. Don't wait up. Ron x'**

'Shit.'

She'd forgotten about that. Ron had only been nattering about it for the last week. She should have remembered, but her mind was on- well other things. Other things that just so happened to be lounging casually in the doorway.

'What's wrong Hermione? Weasel not happy about you stopping late?'

She swallowed. How was she going to get out of this without telling Draco that she basically had the whole night to herself?

'The whole night?' he chuckled. 'Well that is certainly interesting.'

'Malfoy I told you not to use legilimens on me. That is a complete and utter invasion of my privacy.' He was slowly strolling towards her and the smirk on his face was growing. 'At least give me fair warning I am quite the accomplished occulemens Draco and my walls are quite sufficient to withstand your sneaky little attacks.' He was now only a foot away from her and still advancing. 'But you can't sneak around my mind like- Draco what are you doing? Draco? Malfoy?!'

He was now inches away. She could feel his warm breath on her face. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

'Stop thinking Hermione.'

And then he kissed her. Kissing Draco was not like kissing Ron. Kissing Draco was about as similar to kissing Ron as Aragog was to a Pygmy Puff. She actually felt something, she wasn't just going through the motions. He nipped her lips causing her to groan. This was amazing, this was something she had only dreamed of, this was- wrong so wrong.

But how could something so wrong, feel so right?

That was the question that started it all.

_Why do you come here_

_When you know I've got troubles enough_

_Why do you call me_

_When you know I can't answer the phone_

**April**

She hadn't seen Draco in almost 2 months. Since the day he'd kissed her. The kiss that had progressed into them naked on the owlery floor. Draco had quickly apparated them to a bedroom somewhere. Her body tingled in the memory of that night. Lavender Brown's description had been an understatement. A huge understatement.

Drifting out of sleep she registered something felt different. The bed sheets felt silkier, more expensive than the cotton ones on the bed she shared with Ron. Thinking of Ron she felt a large arm draped across her body, snuggling backwards she came into contact with a set of rock hard abs. Wait a second? That wasn't right. Ron wasn't chubby but he certaily didn't feel like that. Groggily she opened her eyes. This was not her bedroom. It was decked out in black and white modern furniture and light was streaming through a huge picture window. She was slowly beginning to panic, where the hell was she? A groan behind her alerted her to the fact that there was a naked man in bed behind her. Jesus Christ. Slowly she turned over careful not to wake him. She was praying to every single God there was that she'd be met with a shock of ginger hair. Platinum blonde. Shit.

She just about fell out of the bed in her haste to get away from Draco. Landing on the bedroom floor in a naked heap she began to search the floor for her clothes. She began to mutter reassurances to herself. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. Where the fuck where her clothes?

'You aren't going to find them and Mione? Something definitely happened.'

He was propped up on one arm, his lower half just covered by the sheet. Shrieking she scrabbled around for something to cover her naked form and found- nothing. Malfoy had began to laugh in earnest now his head thrown back, she had to admit it was a pretty amazing laugh.

'I saw it all last night. There's no point hiding now. You could of course come back to bed and join me?' He waggled his eyebrows before bursting into laughter again.

She was tempted, just about to climb back in bed in fact when she snagged her engagement ring on the fancy bedsheets. Her engagement ring. She jumped back like she'd been slapped and Malfoy seemed to realise the mood had changed.

'I fucked you. I fucked you wearing Ron's engagement ring. Shit. Oh shit.'

She was close to tearing her hair out right now. She had cheated on Ron. With Draco fucking Malfoy.

'Where are my clothes Malfoy?' she snapped.

He paused for a moment and looked like he was about to ask her to come back to bed again until she fixed him with a famous Hermione death glare.

'The owlery at your work.'

Shit. She'd forgotten that.

'Hermione, I know you're freaking out, but maybe we should just talk about this. I know you're freaking out about Ron-'

'DON'T SAY HIS NAME.' She took a deep breath. 'I just can't fucking deal with this right now. I'll see you around.'

With that she apparated to collect her clothes thankful it was a Saturday and nobody would be there. Dressing in almost a trance she apparated to her apartment. Her apartment.

Oh no. She frantically glanced around to find a magical paper plane on the kitchen table. She rushed over to the note praying it said what she hoped it would.

**'Stopping at Harry's didn't want to wake you. See you tomorrow, I love you. Ron x'**

She let out a gasp of relief. She dreaded to think what would have happened if Ron had been there when she made it home, dressed in yesterday's work clothes no less. He'd be home soon. She'd have to get dressed into something more Saturday morning appropriate.

That night was one of the biggest mistakes she'd ever made. Ron had no idea. He'd come in from his night blissfully unaware to be met with a hearty hangover-curing full english and proceeded to proclaim his love for her very vocally. A knock on the door snapped her our of memory lane.

'Come in' she called. It was probably Hannah with the updates on that vampire manuscript (who knew they'd turn into such heart throbs?) The door opened and she glanced up to see the one person she had hoped not to face again in the near future. In his defence he wasn't wearing his famous smirk and he did in fact look fairly embarassed.

'Make it quick Malfoy.'

'I only came here,  _Hermione_ ' he emphasised her name, noticing her use of Malfoy for the first time in weeks, 'to invite you to the Malfoy Inc. annual ball.' He walked towards her slowly pulling an envelope from his jacket pocket.

'Why did you come here to tell me that? Why didn't you just owl it?'

He sighed. 'Hermione, look. I know what happened wasn't the best timing. But hear me out. You aren't happy. That's obvious to everyone. Everyone except you. You deserve better than the Weasel. You deserve to be challenged and excited and look forward to every single day. I can give you that.'

She couldn't listen to this anymore. She loved Ron. Didn't she? Of course she did. What was she thinking.

'I'm sorry Malfoy. I can't do this.' She closed her eyes. The smell of his aftershave told her he'd come closer. She didn't want to open her eyes. She could deny it all day long to herself and spin cartwheels at the same time but not whilst she was looking into those stormy eyes.

'Look at me Mione.'

She exhaled slowly and opened her eyes, watching in horror as he leaned in. She resisted his kiss for all of three seconds before she felt herself relaxing into him. It began to get more heated and when he finally pulled away she was panting.

He stared at her, his eyes suddenly a lot harder than before.

'If you can look me in the eye right now and tell me that you feel nothing I will walk out of your life right now.' He waited. And waited. She couldn't get a word past her lips.

'I'll see you at the ball.' With that he stalked straight back out leaving Hermione to collapse onto her desk. What the hell was she doing?

_Make me lie_

_When I don't want to_

_And make someone else_

_Some kind of an unknowing fool_

**May**

'Hermione!'

Shit she thought. She turned around to look at a rapidly approaching Ron, she plastered a smile on her face. Smoothing her evening gown down she walked towards him.

'Mione where have you been, I've been looking for you for an hour!'

They were at the Malfoy Inc. ball conveniently hosted at the newly restored Malfoy Manor. She'd taken extra care in her appearance that night- not because he would be there. It was a Saturday so after a lazy morning she'd shut herself in the bathroom and began the long process of pampering herself. The invite said black tie and knowing the circles Draco moved in the majority of attendees would be filthy rich and dressed up to the nines. She had used a spell similar to the one Ginny had taught her for the Yule Ball all those years ago and managed to tame her unruly hair into shiny waves that tumbled down her back. Her makeup was fairly simple, carefully applied eyeliner and mascara but then deep red lipstick. Finally she slipped on her dress. It was beautiful and easily the most expensive piece of clothing she owned, the bodice was intricate silver lace that passed over her sholders leaving her back bare and reappeared at her waist. The silver chiffon billowed out from her waist, it truly was a dress of dreams. Grabbing her clutch bag she stepped out to meet Ron, he had been patiently waiting in the living room for the past 25 minutes, surprisingly only feeling the need to hurry her up twice. It was worth it to see his face. His chin was practically touching the floor and he swooped her up to place a kiss on her neck.

'You look beautiful Mione, absolutely breathtaking.' he shook his head slowly, never taking his eyes from her face.

'How did I manage to keep hold of you? It's a bloody miracle!'

She giggled nervously before hurrying him along, they'd have to apparate now if they wanted to be there in time.

That had been almost 3 hours ago. She'd trailed around on Ron's arm for a good hour making small talk with the other business men and government officials that were there. She wasn't really one for small talk finding it incredibly boring so she settled for polite nods and murmurs of agreement letting Ron take the lead. She'd been doing a stellar job of avoiding their host, up until then that is. Spotting her Draco had quickly excused himself from his current conversation and made his way across the room.

'Hermione! It was wonderful of you to come.' He pulled her in for a half hug and a kiss on the cheek, like one would greet an old friend.

He whispered quickly into her ear. '1 hour. The back staircase, be there.'

Pulling back he shook Ron's hand like nothing had happened. They proceeded to make small talk on putting Hogwarts behind them and his work with Hermione at the publishing house. It looked fairly amicable to the untrained eye but she could see how tense Draco was. She could read it in the way he was holding his shoulders. Ron however seemed relaxed, happy even. She sighed to herself. Of course he was happy. He was at a ball with his fiancee on his arm, networking with a range of important people and he'd just managed to lay his oldest rivalry to bed. The conversation lasted around 10 minutes before Draco politely excused himself, he shot Hermione a look before he left. She knew what he was saying. Be there.

For the next 48 minutes she was solid in the knowledge that she would not be leaving Ron's side. Ron was her fiancee. Her place was with him. That was until with 2 minutes to spare she caught sight of Draco's blonde head disappearing out of the room. Shit.

'Ron, darling, I'm just going to nip to the bathroom. I won't be long.' Giving him a quick peck on the cheek she hurried after Draco. Once out the ballroom she continued down the corridor, the candles getting farther and farther apart until the corridor was almost pitch black. She was almost at the end when she felt someone grab her wrist. She squealed in shock until she heard him.

'Mione it's me calm down.'

She could barely see him in the gloom, but she knew what he looked like. Black tie was definitely a good look for Malfoy. They waited for a few more minutes, the silence creeping around them, becoming more and more charged until- they snapped.

He grabbed her by the hips and lifted, slamming her back into the wall whilst similtaneously attacking her mouth. This wasn't like last month in the office, she didn't hestitate, she returned the kiss wholeheartedly. Battling him for dominance. Hooking her legs around his waist she drew him closer, moaning as he began to kiss down her neck. He dress was hiked up around her stomach and he made quick work of her knickers.

'So- beautiful- Mione' he choked out between breaths.

'Hello? Mione?' Ron was waving his hand in front of her face. 'Where did you go?'

She began to blush the thoughts of sex with Draco just moments earlier not helping one bit.

''Oh er- I- went to the bathroom. But then I got distracted by- a- a bookcase on my way back. Yes some priceless books, I didn't even realise the time.' She quickly exhaled in relief hoping Ron would buy it.

He began to chuckle. 'I should've known' he pulled he to his side placing a kiss on her head 'I was just really worried Mione, I know I can trust you.' She followed him back to the bar and waited whilst he got them both a drink. She hadn't felt this sick in a long time. He knew he could trust her. How could she lie to him after that?

'You okay sweetheart?' Ron looked at her with a concerned look on her face.

'Yes, fine.' quickly plastering a smile on her face she lifted her glass. 'Cheers.'

Ron smiled. 'To us.'

The knot in her stomach got even bigger.

_You make me stay_

_When I should not_

_Are you so strong_

_Or is all the weakness in me_

**August**

Draco drew lazy circles on her back. They were in bed again. She wasn't kidding herself any longer, this had become a regular thing. Working late, girly night with Hannah, meeting some muggle friends, the list of excuses was endless. Good old trusting Ron didn't expect a thing.

'I need to get back.'

'Shhh.' Draco planted a kiss on the nape of her neck. 'We both know Ron isn't back from his trip until tomorrow morning. We have all night.'

A whole weekend she'd spent with Draco. She'd shown him around muggle London, the magical side being too dangerous to risk. He'd been fascinated by the cinemas and they'd spent a whole day watching all the new releases, Draco in 3D glasses had been one amusing sight she would not forget for a long time. She spent most of that film just watching him. His eyes glued to the screen, delight on his face, reaching his hands out to try and touch the picture coming towards his face. He was truly magnificent. He was what she wanted.

A tear rolled down her face as she thought of where Ron actually was. After the ball he'd kept in contact with Draco. They'd become friends. Good friends. They'd bonded over Quidditch and drinking and wizard's chess. They had more in common than Ron knew. So when Draco got tickets to the Quidditch World Cup in America he found himself with 'work commitments' and offered them to Ron. Hermione felt she 'wouldn't make the most of a ticket' so he'd taken Harry for the weekend. It was all a big set up. All so they could get a weekend together. So they could be together like a proper couple.

She had never betrayed someone so thoroughly. She couldn't leave him. Beneath it all she still loved him. He was still her first love. Dependable, comforting and always supportive, Ron was her best friend. She couldn't break the heart of her best friend now, could she?

Draco pulled her closer to his chest, and she breathed in his scent. He could read her like a book. He knew when to give her space and when to draw her close. When to hold her so tight all thoughts of escaping ran away from her. She loved him. But was that enough to give up her life? She had no misconceptions. She would lose everything. Her friends, her stability, her surrogate family she had found in the Weasleys.

'It's okay. Stop thinking. Just close your eyes.'

He hummed as she drifted to sleep, slowly stroking her hair. She was almost in dreamland when she heard his whisper.

'I don't know how long I can carry on doing this.'

_Why do you come here_

_And pretend to be just passing by_

_But I mean to see you_

_And I mean to hold you tightly_

**September**

'RON! Get the door!' Hermione shouted.

She'd heard the knock from her bath and knew that without a bit of prodding Ron would more then likely leave the door unanswered. She could hear the soft rumbling of voices and hurried to finish off. Rinsing the soap from her hair she stepped out of the bath and performed a quick drying spell before accioing her dressing gown. It was most likely Harry come round for a chat, he popped in every now and then when the crying of baby James got too much. She didn't know how Ginny put up with it!

Humming to herself she opened the door and padded into the living room. She froze.

'Oh hey Mione, look who dropped in!' Ron was sat with a delighted look on his face.

'Well I was in the area so I thought I'd pop in.' He smiled slightly.

'You're always welcome Draco mate, isn't he Mione? Haven't seen you in ages! Not since the World Cup! It was bloody amazing, shame you couldn't come though! Bet that weekend sucked with you having to work and all!'

Hermione tuned out from the conversation. In the area my arse. He knew how dangerous it was to stop by whilst she was in as well as Ron. They might give something away by being this close to each other! Ron's wand began to shoot red sparks and emit a wailing noise.

'Bugger. It'll be people from the office, we've develped a new programme so we can talk through wands, like those muggle tele-things. Give me a minute. Mione why don't you and Draco go and make a brew? I'll only be a minute.'

She nodded and smiled weakly leading Draco into the kitchen. He let the door close slowly behind him. She heard it click shut and felt him come closer, she busied herself making the drinks trying to ignore his body pressing into her and the feeling of his soft breath on her neck.

'Draco we can't Ron could walk in at any minute!' she frantically whispered. She turned around, intent on pushing him away but then his lips were on hers and all thoughts of Ron were forgotten. He stroked her hair and behind her ear and then- gone. He'd side stepped out of the way and grabbed a cup of tea a mere second before Ron had walked in.

'Sorry about that it was- Mione are you okay? You look really flushed, are you coming down with something?' He was eyeing her suspiciously.

'I'm just really warm, I think I might have put the muggle central heating on by accident this morning.'

'Ah that makes sense. Come on through Draco.' he led the way out. Draco following closely stopping only to give her a quick wink.

The central heating was on a timer. She could've sworn Ron knew that. It was getting harder and harder to keep this a secret.

_Feeling guilty worried_

_Waking from tormented sleep_

_This old love has me bound_

_But the new love cuts deep_

**November**

This was the third night in a row she hadn't been able to sleep. So much was on her mind. She'd had so many near misses with Draco recently, Ron just seemed to be walking in at every single unopportune moment yet somehow it still remained a secret. It was only a matter of time though and she knew it. Molly was pushing for them to set a date. Theyd been engaged for a year now and hadn't given much thought to wedding plans. She knew in her heart of hearts that she'd been avoiding it. How could she talk wedding plans when all she pictured was Draco waiting at the end of the aisle for her? Ron shifted in his sleep behind her. He had her pulled to his chest, spooning her, his arm holding her tight. She had never felt so suffocated in all her life. She turned to watch him sleep. He was breathing steadily, representing everything that she'd come to love about Ron. He was dependable. She knew that if she married him she'd be okay. She'd be loved and looked after and provided for. But she would be unhappy. How could she spend the rest of her life in a state of indifference. She wanted fireworks, kisses in the rain, nervous tingles in the pit of her stomach. Everything she had with Draco. But she wanted it everyday.

I had been 9 months since Draco had walked into her life and shattered the little bubble she had built for herself. After the war she had been so desperate to be safe she'd forgotten what she'd been fighting for. The chance to live. To live completely and wholly the life she wanted. And that life was not here. Slowly she extracted herself from Ron's arms and creeped off the bed. She was just about to apparate away when she heard Ron shift.

He half opened his eyes, 'Mione? Where are you?

He looked so lost in that moment not knowing where she was. She couldn't do it.

'Bathroom.' she sighed. 'Go back to sleep.'

_If I choose now_

_I'll lose out_

_One of you has to fall_

_And I need you and you_

**December**

'I can't do this anymore Mione. I can't watch you go back to him every night. I walked into that office all those months ago expecting you to be the same goddamn stuck up Gryffindor that you were all those years ago. I expected to take one look at my proposal and flatly refuse me. But you didn't. You entrusted everything you'd worked for to me. Draco fucking Malfoy, the boy who made your life hell for years. You were so beautiful Hermione. You looked so nervous when I walked in and then you reeled off that speech and then those 2 weeks we worked together? I made that up. I've never spent more that 2 days at all my other investments but the way your face lit up when you talked about your work. Watching you as you read over a particularly difficult text to edit or trying to make the accounts match up. You were so passionate. You loved every second and I wanted that. I wanted that zest for life that you had, that you'd fought for and won. But then I saw you with Ron out and around Diagon Alley I saw you kiss him goodbye one day and it was like all that energy had petered out. You were just going through the motions of life. That made me so angry. You are an amazing person Hermione and you fought for the right to live your life without fear or restriction yet that was exactly what you were doing. You were afraid of saying those three words. I'm not happy. But the time we spent together, everytime I touched you you lit up, your smile Hermione. Fucking hell your smile. I have been a shell for years, I devoted my life to getting rid of every single last bit of my family from me. I excelled in the business world, I promoted muggle born rights I worked my socks off to be a better person. Then you walked into my life and I realised that none of that mattered. How could it matter how many businesses I ran when I could make you giggle and squirm with one press to that spot on your side? And who gave a fuck how much money I was making each year when I could lie next to you and watch you sleep. Watch all that tension drift out of your face, watch you be truly peaceful. The thing I'm trying to say is, I love you Hermione. I love the person you've made me become and I want nothing more than for us to be together. But I want you to be happy. I can't keep this up. It's exhausting. I know you've got a lot to lose but for one minute just think about yourself. Think about what you lost in the war and think about what you were fighting for. It was freedom. Happiness. The chance to love without evil pressing in from all sides. Think about that. It's New Year's Eve. I'm leaving tomorrow. I'm moving to France. I've done what I set out to do here and I'm comfortable enough to set up in my old holiday home. I want you to come with me. It's your choice, but I want you to know that no matter what you choose. I love you.'

He apparated away. She couldn't move. She couldn't breathe. She thought about what he'd said about the war. About the people who'd died to allow the living a chance to be happy. She wasn't happy now and she never would be with Ron. Making her decision she apparated home, a lump in her throat.

'Mione is that you? I thought you were out with Hannah and Ally? We only have to be at Harry's for 8.' Ron emerged from the en suite to find her accioing her things and placing them in a large suitcase.

'Mione? What are you doing? I don't understand?' He began to walk towards her. She couldn't speak. She knew that the words would break him. She knew she'd have to watch her best friend, her first love reduced to bits. Summoning her last item she closed and locked the case.

Only one thing left to do.

She slowly reached up to her left hand and removed the engagement ring.

Ron let out a strangled noise. 'Mione no. Please.'

He sank down onto his knees. Both of them were crying now.

'What did I do?' he whispered.

'You didn't do anything.' she aknowledged. 'It was all me. I- I wasn't happy. I haven't been happy for so, so long Ron. But you couldn't see it.' Her voice broke. 'Nobody could see it.' She could barely speak for the sobs now.

'I can't live like this. I sacrificed so much to be free. I can't be that here.'

'But Hermione I love you, I love you so much.'

'I know Ron. I know. But sometimes that just isn't enough.'

She placed the ring on the bed and grabbing her cases apparated away. Leaving Ron crying on the floor and her own heart in shreds.

She landed in Draco's bedroom and collapsed to the floor, praying that this was what she wanted. Praying she hadn't just made the worst mistake of her life. Then she felt his arms come around her, and she knew.

_You make me stay_

_When I should not_

_Are you so strong_

_Or is all the weakness in me?_


End file.
